The notion that I might know what I need or want, and that perhaps I am the only one who knows it, is utterly absurd to many in the helping profession. At least the ones I've come across. I'm very much wanting to meet those in the other camp- and I imagine if they're in the other camp they would not be found in the helping profession....huh?
I've recently encountered many in the profession of healing the body/soul.
As in the business of psychotherapists, I've encountered those trained in modalities such as ''Bodytalk'', ''Ilana Rubenfeld Synergy'', ''Breathing Coordination'', ''Alexander technique'', ''Feldenkrais'', ''Somatic Experiencing'', and others to whom I've turned for support in supporting this terrified being.
In the past few months, I received life-saving treatment by one trained in ''breathing coordination''. Hands-on work to release the trapped breathing mechanism. My body was responsive- it coughed up water and more... and after two or three sessions the practitioner declared he believes I need to see a homeopathic practitioner. If I didn't see the homeopath, he'd not want to continue to offer me the life-saving treatment.
At the time, I did not know of others who do similar work, so I felt coerced to go to the homeopath. It was only later that I found there are others who do similar work.
When my organism experienced his telling me that he knows what I need, and that I better do it or else, my organism was no longer responsive to his breathing treatment. A large part of my u-turn, if not THE u-turn, is having one who supports my innate wisdom. As long as the other's attention remains on my innate wisdom, the organism is on a path of returning to life. When the other's attention shifts to his/her ideas, my organism loses sight of the life that wants to unfold. LeShan gets it, and his book- The Mechanic and the Gardener is one of my sources of support.
I'm reminded of Pikler's way of being with infants.
This week I went to one of the others I'd discovered. She immediately began to rock my rib cage and I was in such a state of shock, I was speechless. After a few seconds I was able to speak and tell her I have a very sensitive organism and it is responsive to gentle touch, sans the vigorous movement. What I really wanted to say was that my organism responds to her intention, less so than to her hands. This is a conversation that many practitioners I've thus far encountered have a hard time wrapping their minds around. I hope my encounters with like-knowing individuals is round the next bend....
So this practitioner put her hands on my diaghragm and she began to exert very gentle pressure, yet pressure nontheless. I asked her to back off. I said my body tenses up any time it feels it is being pushed beyond its limits, and that my organism will do what it needs to do to unwind from the trauma. It only needs support. She seemed to get it and my organism settled into a space within which it was able to begin to return to unstrained breathing. The quality of her presence became such that I said, ''In this moment I experience you as my midwife''. She was able to relate to the midwife concept and said- ''You listen to your body, and I'll listen to you, and you tell me how I can serve you,''. I asked her to keep her hand on my diaghragm as that is where the terror became bound. Unfortunately for me, her next client came in soon after, and it was time for us to part.
She asked if I want to schedule another appointment. She went into some detail sharing with me that at first she was not going to offer me another appointment, and that seeing how responsive my organism is has made her change her mind.
When I checked in with my being, there was a very clear ''no'' to going back to her at this time. The organism has registered her as someone to be frightened of, someone who shakes me without checking in with me if that would be ok with me. A basic, or perhaps radical, sense of dignity for the human being before her. To check in with the person, ''I'm thinking to put my hands on you to coax your rib cage out of its tension. How would that be for you? Are you up for that?''
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